By: Saif Cheval
Anti-fashion seems to have swept the runway by storm, and it seems like every label wants to either make uninspired-yet-inspired clothing, or just release something ridiculous. Whether it’s OFF-WHITE adapting “workwear” in their own weird way, or Prada being amazingly boring, here are some of the most absurd (a formula of unconventionality and price) items you can “cop for the gram” in 2017.
BALENCIAGA: “Bernie” Scarf/Blanket/Jacket Thing
There’s no better a time to get on the #feelthebern movement: Senator Sanders himself has acknowledged this piece! Demna Gvsalia’s memorable first collection with storied fashion house, Balenciaga, featured several interesting motifs, but most noticeable was the direct bite of the presidential candidate’s campaign logo. Show your never-ending devotion to democratic socialism and sharing the wealth by spending several hundred (if not thousand) dollars on this scarf/jacket/blanket thing. Surely, this will stop you-know-who…something has to!
PRADA: Corduroy Pants
Miuccia Prada’s ode to the most basic items at a thrift store was supposed to be an edgy statement on the climate of fashion…but you know better. Those $500 corduroy pants aren’t saying much aside from their price tag. Not that there’s anything wrong with that: if luxury thrift is your style, well, here’s the perfect collection for you. Personally, I’d go with Gucci.
Feeling extra frivolous, but still want to show your devotion to the undulations of the fashion world? Well then, anything VETEMENTS is a good buy. Gvsalia’s ridiculously successful line has gained a lot of press and attention over the past year, and rightly so. Some, myself included, might be cautious of the way VETEMENTS makes it “cool to look cheap,” but you’re reading a list about the most outlandish things you can buy with your money, so does it really matter? A lot of the label’s work presents challenging silhouettes and interesting prints, but we’re looking for something decisively absurd, and thus a pair of slim-straight stonewash jeans with “VETEMENTS” literally printed on the crotch is probably your best bet.
OFF-WHITE: Industrial Belt
What isn’t absurd about this? Pro tip: you can use this as a strap for a duffle bag, and look slightly less ridiculous in the process!
UNDERCOVER: Bat-Ear Hats
Undercover’s “Brain Washed Generation” was amazingly bizarre. Pairing bat wings with tweed suits, and their models frequently donning facemasks, the show set a rather terrifying tone, playing off the foreboding nature of our own future. Though the ears (which may also be seen as horns), played well into the looks of the show, it’s uncertain whether folks will be able to fit these into their daily accessorizing without looking like the hat was found at a toy store.
BORIS BIDJAN SABERI: Spiked Boots
Pair this with a VETEMENTS hoodie and some OFF-WHITE jeans, and you’ll have the most dangerous looking fit anyone’s seen in years. You could probably kill someone with these boots. They certainly fit the nature of Saberi’s work, but as soon as you take these out of the “Goth Ninja” context, well…
RAF SIMONS: Crop Top I <3 U Sweaters
It remains to be seen if buyers will stock these, but if you’re in the market for a sweater featuring one of the most ubiquitous designs in the entire world at several times the price, this latest piece from Raf Simons’ is for you. Don’t let me judge what you do with your money. To be fair, they looked pretty cool on the runway; probably only because Simons can do no wrong. They’re probably ridiculously warm as well, which always helps justifying a big purchase.
THOM BROWNE: Deconstructed Suit (sample piece)
I don’t know how you plan on obtaining this…in fact, I don’t want to know, but still send it to my DMs, anyway. If you’re looking for the most absurd, outlandish, and patently ridiculous means of depleting your finances, the answer lies here. I’d personally pick up the flattened, “deconstructed” grey suit that rounded out the middle of the collection, but perhaps the coats that run through the latter looks are more your style. Browne’s show was definitely one of the highlights of an otherwise drab Menswear season, so if you have the money and the interest… and, of course, the connections… you should get in there real quick.
Saif Cheval is a writer with a global background and a dedication to fashion. He writes from Montreal where the folk are fresh, and is also interested in music, film, television, and being foolish on social media. He likes to think his style focuses on urban utilitarianism, but that’s probably because he loves wearing sweatpants a little too much. He takes influence from a stock list – Lang, Margiela, Owens – but he’s recently been inspired by the works of Japanese geniuses like Tatsuro Horikawa and Jun Takahashi. You can follow him on Insta at @s_cheval.